letting God be God

Faith. Patience. Trust. 

Three qualities I am trying to work on.  And three qualities that do not come easily to me.  But they're being tested right now, I can feel it.  And I'm glad that I recognize that God is trying to teach me a lesson.  Cause otherwise, well otherwise, I wouldn't grow in my relationship with Him or as a person.

Here's the scoop.  Mom and Dad said we couldn't get another dog until after Em's graduation.  She graduated last weekend (whoop, whoop. She did great; no tripping on the stage!) so we have been researching the Internet for the "right" dog (ohhhh, did you think I was going to say perfect?!) and refreshing each humane society's webpage to find our next dog.  

And here's where God comes into this.  Mom and Dad have been saying since day one of this search that God will bring the right dog into our lives when it's the right time.  WHEN IS THE RIGHT TIME!? I am really struggling with this part.  I'm being selfish in this process.  I want to find the right dog as soon as possible so I can spend as much time with her as I can before I leave to go back to school in August.  It's so selfish of me to want this.  I grew up with Sadie, she'd been there since I was twelve.  She knew who I was (that I was the one who would give her table scraps...).  When I would come home from school on the weekends the way she would wag her tail and practically bounce around me made it clear that she knew who I was and that I had been gone.  She loved me.  And I want that relationship with our next dog.  Which is why I want to find her now, in hopes that I can have that same relationship with her (which, don't worry.  We all know that we will never be able to find a dog as good as Sadie.).  

But I'm not God.  And I have to keep reminding myself of that.  Life is so difficult when we try to do it all on our own.  God wants to be the one in control.  He knows what's best for us.  He knows when the right dog for our family will be ready for us to rescue/adopt her.  He knows.  And it's taken a little while, but tonight I'm slowly beginning to be okay with His timing and Him knowing what's going to work for us. Because I'm pretty sure I want what God says is best for me, not what my human brain thinks is best for me. 

My confession: I'm letting go.  And I'm letting God be God.