thoughts in my head (that sounds scary)

The other night I wrote a bunch of jumbled thoughts down on this little space of the Internet here.  I didn't end up posting it--it didn't feel right, finished, complete.  Sometimes that happens.  And it takes me journaling and talking about those thoughts with friends to fully process what I want to say and what words I want to say for how I'm feeling. 

So, my thoughts.  They've been heavy this week.  Pretty dark.  In my global feminism class we talked about violence against women this week (including honor killings, genital cuttings, and rape).  Oh my gosh.  It was so hard. It was so heavy.  My heart really broke.  At times I just felt helpless and hopeless and lost and angered and sad and motivated, and just human. 

And then to make it even more difficult, I haven't been able to talk with either of my parents this week.  And they're usually the ones I go to to process the deep stuff like this.  So what did that mean for me? Well, it meant I turned to God.  And I cried to Him and prayed to Him and pleaded with Him and I just sat with Him.  I'm not saying I got it all together or that now I understand or feel any lighter.  But I am saying that I found so much comfort in knowing He was there listening and holding me.  

I oftentimes feel like the people and society I grew up in are (perhaps unintentionally) unaware of some of these evils of the world.  A bubble, if you will.  Why is it that I haven't heard about modern day slavery and human trafficking until I took these classes at twenty years old?! Ah, it makes my head spin realizing how ignorant I've been.  And perhaps it's because I couldn't have handled some of this stuff beforehand.  But it's oftentimes felt lonely discovering all these dark secrets of the world.  And right when I begin to think this journey of education on human trafficking is dark and lonely, God shines a light.  

I went to the Jenny & Tyler concert tonight (pictured above.  If you don't know them, do yourself a favor and listen to their music.  They have such pure, raw, beautiful talent. so good).  I had only recently heard of them from a friend...we're talking like a week ago.  And then last night I found out they were playing across the river from campus and the stars aligned and I found myself at their concert.  And what was their concert benefiting, you ask? Well, let me tell you! Their tour is called For Freedom and they have partnered with IJM (International Justice Mission) to help shed light on slavery today.  How cool? Seriously, how cool? And the organization I'm involved with on campus (Generation: Justice) not only got a little plug, but then I also found out about another organization in the city that is helping to educate citizens on human trafficking and they hope to one day soon open up a home for those rescued from trafficking.  

God is so good.  He really, truly is.  And not because He did those things to show me I'm not alone.  And not because He was there when I couldn't have been satisfied or filled by any one else this week.  But because He simply is good.  He is loving, and just, and compassionate, and my Savior.  He is good.