a little thought on money

Caribbean, March 2012

Harney Peak, June 2012

Saint Louis, July 2013

The Dominican Republic, May 2013

I've been doing a lot of thinking lately on my future and money.  With English being my major, I know that when I get out of college I won't be making a lot of money.  And coming out of college with a degree where I'm not guaranteed a job-especially in this market-is a little scary.  What with loans and debt, I've been trying to avoid thinking about that.  But after multiple conversations with my parents, I think that I am starting to understand just how serious it is going to be to find a job to start paying off my debt.  And that scares me.

However, I don't want to change my major so that I can be guaranteed a job right after I graduate.  I love English.  While not being trained in my major for something specific, I still know that I'm in the right place, heading in the right direction.  I don't want to sit at a desk doing something I absolutely hate to earn a large pay check.  How terrible is that? I couldn't imagine wasting my life like that.  And don't get me wrong, I know I may have to work some jobs I don't like, but as long as they are stepping stones to get to where I want to be, then I think I can handle that. 

But as for this whole money thing.  

I don't want to live my life based off of what I can and cannot do because of how much money I have.  I recently found out that they are taking another trip back to the Dominican Republic this winter and my heart was so full of joy.  I told my parents I didn't want to miss out on doing things with my life because I have to worry about "saving for the future." I told them I wanted so badly to go back that I was going to pay for the trip on my own.  I wanted them to see how serious I was.  My heart yearns to go back to that beautiful country. I met so many incredible people, and I so badly want to go back and reconnect.  I can't even describe the people in that country I met, so full of love for life, each other, and Jesus.  And yet, even with all that love, there is still hate and evil happening there.  Hate and evil that needs to be gotten rid of. 

Due to familial circumstances, I don't know if I will be able to go back this winter, but being given this opportunity has really made me see how much desire I have to explore the world.  To go on more mission trips, making relationships all around the world.  To visit other countries to get a taste of their culture.  Visiting other states/countries gives me such  joy. I love taking in the atmospheres around me, trying to figure out what makes each place unique.  To not be able to do those things because of money makes me sad.  

I don't think God put us here on earth so we could sit around and waste it sitting at a desk working everyday.  Yes, we have to work, it's part of being human.  But that doesn't mean we can't go on adventures (even adventures in our towns/cities/states). 

My confession: I'm trying to be smart about money.  I don't want it to hold me back in life.  I want to spend my money in a way that glorifies God.  I want to spend money in a way that lets me live life.