getting married young

We have officially been engaged now for 49 days! My how those days went by quickly! Being engaged hasn't felt much different than dating, but now I get a beautiful ring on my left finger and I no longer have a boyfriend-he's my fiancé. Life's great (wedding planning, not so much).

Alex and I began dating in May of last year and started talking about marriage last November. I think I knew he was my forever guy sometime back in October, after driving away from a weekend with him and realizing I never wanted to say goodbye to him again. I think he started picking up on my subtle hints after (continuously) randomly asking him "are you going to make me your wife someday?". Ha, okay, maybe not so subtle. 

The more serious we got about talking about marriage, what we both wanted out of life, and what we envisioned our family to look like, the more nervous I got about what other people were going to think. I wasn't even 21 yet.  We had only been dating for 6 months and the entirety of our dating relationship had been spent long distance, surely we couldn't know one another yet. We're too young. We aren't financially stable. There's still so much to see and do and experience. We're too young! The more I thought about what other people would think about our decision to commit to one another so soon and so young, the colder my feet got. 

I felt as if every time I got on Facebook there was another article posted about why you should wait until your 30s to get married. And why being single is so great. And reasons not to get married young-look at the divorce statistics. Sure, they all had valid points and I understood where they were coming from. But the more I expressed my fears and concerns to Alex, the more silly I felt.

Yes, we had only been dating for 9.5 months when we got engaged. But no, we didn't think we were being naive. Alex and I know our relationship, we know one another (and will always continue to learn more about one another), and we love one another (and will always continue to learn to love one another more). We've both had to make sacrifices (and will make more sacrifices) and we've both had to learn what it means to serve someone before ourselves (and we'll always be learning what it means to serve one another). I'm not saying we've got it down or mastered it (not at all!), but through all of that we are also learning what grace means and how to give that when needed.

I never think we'll be "ready" to get married. There will always be some reason, some excuse for why we should wait: need to be older, need to be more financially secure, need to experience more, need to be independent first, etc etc etc. And we've talked through all of those. But what we've concluded is that we love one another and we are ready and willing to commit and create a covenant of marriage that will bring glory to our God. We believe God is leading us into this marriage, and we don't want to let our age (and what society says about that) to get in our way, because God doesn't necessarily work according to the timeline we create. 

Jesus loves His church so incredibly much that He allowed Himself to take on our human form and to then endure torture as He payed the price of our sin. His love for His people is unrelenting, unconditional, and unbreakable. And that is the love we are supposed to have for our spouses. That is the love Alex and I want to experience for one another. 

I know the love we have for one another is probably only comparable to the love we'll have for one another in five years, ten years, ninty years (dreaming big here). Because the love I first felt for Alex last semester can only compare to the love I have for him today. Through our relationship I have learnt what it means to be vulnerable, honest, serving, and sacrificial.  And I'm absolutely sure those lessons will continue for the rest of our relationship. But with Alex, I want to learn those things, I want to put him first, I want to love him like Christ loves the Church. 

In our relationship we laugh (like a lot. like pee-your-pants a lot...), we cry, we learn from one another, we challenge one another in our faiths, we're weird and we're goofy and so incredibly cheesy, we're adventurous, we have those hard, deep, and emotional conversations, we talk about crazy inventions we think would be cool (our cheese deodorant is going to make it big), we talk about our future family and what it will look like, we share our ugly sides, we share our struggles and our fears and our doubts and our triumphs and our successes and our accomplishments, and we pursue Christ together. Our relationship is unique and special and it's ours. 

I can't wait to marry this man and for the challenges that that will bring and for the ways we will get to experience Christ even more so. We have verbally committed ourselves to one another, and we absolutely plan on defying those divorce statistics. I love Alex, and yes, I'm going to marry him when we're still young. 

my twin

No, we're not really twins. I just like to say that we were twins in the womb, me coming out a few (16) months before her.  We've got a pretty rich history together, Em and I.  From the many games we played while we were supposed to be sleeping to the imaginary world we created in our tree house.  One of my favorite memories is when we went over to our neighbors house and captured somewhere between 20 and 30 butterflies and took them up to our shared room.  We let them fly free during the day and then at night we put them either in our butterfly net or in the window between the screen and glass.  To this day I'm not sure if our parents know about our butterfly garden we kept for a few weeks in our room (us four kids are pretty good at keeping live things from our parents. Like the story of how we got our late cat, Bella.  We found her at the bus stop one day and fell pretty in love with her.  We hid her in our garage for a few weeks, feeding her cheerios and stolen cat food from the neighbors. Knowing our parents' strict "no pets" rule, we decided that if we gave her to our mom for her birthday, then she could not possibly say "no" to our sweet stray cat.  And what do you know? They said "yes"!). 

Growing up, though, Em and I have always been pretty close (you know why I'm throwing you a hard nudge here, Em (; ).  And despite our many, many, many, many differences, it's never slowed or faltered our relationship.  I think I always took advantage of how close we were until my first year here at school and I realized how much I missed her.  AND THEN I thought the world was ending when she almost made the wrong decision to attend Wright University.  So you can imagine my pure excitement when she chose to come here!

And I don't think we've taken advantage of each other both being here as much as we should, but when we do get to sneak in a lunch or dinner, it's always so, so, so good.  Today we grabbed lunch and it was so good to catch up on her life and then do the same for her with mine.  It's so cool to see how God is working in both of us and how much we're both growing as women.  

Emily is really shining here in school and also especially on the rowing team.  I am really enjoying watching her come into her own and learn to live more independently.  She sure is making our family proud with all her accomplishments thus far into her college career.  And even though I've struggled a bit with just HOW well she's doing here (like, she is mastering this whole college thing), I'm at a place now where I can be full of excitement and joy for her as she continues to grow as a child of God.  

My confession: I love you, Em. And I love our spontaneous (and planned) mini-dates.  I'm so incredibly proud to call you my little sister and so, so glad we are both at the same school right now.  I love you forever (can't wait to marry those twin brothers we talked about when we were little and living in neighboring homes!). 

my crazies

I'm often reminded of the crazy family I was born into.  And this weekend on fall break was no failure to remind me of such reasons why. 

First reminder from this weekend: Coop, Em, and I were hard core jamming in the car after church on Sunday with the windows rolled down (in the rain) as we choreographed our own little dance to each tune that came on.  The cars around us were totally jealous.  

Second reminder from this weekend: After church and this jam session, we were shopping at Sam's Club (Sample Sunday is a tradition not taken lightly in this family) and all of a sudden we stopped our shopping/sampling to do trust falls with one another.  We learned we are quite the trusting family (it only took six or twenty-five times for me to finally trust Cooper).  

And third reminder from this weekend: During the same Sam's Club excursions Emily and I took a break from trusting and shopping and sampling to listen to some Beat's headphones.  We were listening to the same song and hard core rockin' out to Clarity.  I mean dancing and fist pumping and twirling and jumping up and down.  We were completely in our own little world until we looked around and saw two different families starring and laughing at us.  Again, they were totally jealous. 

My confession: My fam jam is just absolutely the greatest out there.  I am continually reminded of how blessed I am to be a part of this family.  Thank you, God, for giving me these five to call my very own.  

I came across this photo earlier today.  And my oh my.

Are my parents not just the most adorable out there?

I am so thankful that they are still so in love with each other.

They are such a great example for us four kids. This 

post is oozing with love, can you feel it? 

the most rewarding week of my life

 Here at my school we have this incredible first-year student orientation program.  It begins on Sunday and has activities planned up until the first day of class the following Monday.  I went through it last year as a freshman and had a pretty decent experience-nothing that left a mark on my first year here.  I don't know what convinced me to apply to be a Team Leader (TL) for this year's program, but I applied, got the interview, and was selected to be a TL.  

Throughout this journey of being trained and then actually being a TL to 14 students last week, I have met so many new friends, learned so many new things about myself, and experienced a week that will have a hard time being topped.  

We started training in the March/April time period of last spring and I was in a group with five other TLs (we are the ones in the light blue shirts in the photos). My Super (who is awesome! He is the one who trained us. They are in the yellow shirts!) had a buddy (she is also awesome!) who also had six TLs she was training and we spent a lot of time together (they are the ones in the pink shirts).  I never knew 14 people who all came from such different backgrounds could come together so quickly and form a bond so tightly.  I love all 13 of those people with my entire heart.  They went through this last week with me when we were running on less than five hours of sleep each night.  I know that I can trust any of them with anything and that I can count on them to be there for me at any time.  

We all shared together in the nervousness of being in charge of [around] 14 students per each of us.  We didn't know what to expect of the incoming students or how the week would play out.  But we were there for each other (most of the time as comic relief, other times for support) and I loved seeing us all pull together.  Those nerves, however, seem almost silly now.  My 14 students have touched my life in ways I didn't think possible.  I had no idea how rewarding this past week would be.  

all my students! 

It has been such a neat experience watching them grow more comfortable here in just a matter of a week.  From last Sunday, when they would barely talk, to last night's "reunion" dinner when I couldn't get them to stop talking.  It puts such a smile on my face watching them hang out after this welcome week program--without being forced to. (: I can remember one moment in particular that has really touched me.  I believe it was on Wednesday and I had left them outside on their dorm's front lawn to go to the bathroom.  When I had come back out of the building, they were playing the human knot game without me having to suggest it.  We also had to make a beacon to carry around all week so that we were easily identified in large crowds (there were 5,400 of them, so yes, the beacons came in handy when we were all together).  My favorite animal being the chicken, I of course, had a chicken that my dad and I made together out of a bunch of junk pieces we found lying around.  My students named him Bruce and loved carrying him from place to place (and thank goodness as Bruce was no light chicken).  Anytime Bruce had a piece fall off of him I thought my students were going to cry! It might have been silly, but it still touched my chicken-lovin' heart.  

I would also like to take this small space of this post to write out how much I absolutely loved everyone' s enthusiasm this week.  My favorite part of the enthusiasm would have to be either all the cheering for different hall teams randomly throughout the week or else the dancing! Oh my gosh the dancing! I especially loved the common bond dance.  You guys, I love this program. 

There are still so many parts of this week I haven't been able to process because they caught me so off guard and touched me more than I ever could have imagined.  I love this program so much.  I love that there were almost a thousand of us TLs who love our school so much that we came back to school a week and a half early to help spread school pride to incoming students.  I love the idea that our school has a program for incoming students to dip their feet into what it means to be a Boiler and to get better acquainted with the campus before they are thrown into the school year.  I love the idea of FreeZone and getting to know people before judging them.  I love the relationships I have made and my school pride which has grown even larger.  

my beautiful TL (and Tim&Anna) family 

our awkward family photo. yes, we know we rocked it. These are all the lovely TLs I mentioned above. 

My confession: In high school I felt like I had my "home" in newspaper and Riley Dance Marathon.  Last year I felt like I was still searching for my "home" here on campus.  Well, I am so ecstatically pleased to say, I think I have found my "home".

the fourth of july

 Hello, hello! Welcome back to ze blog of this bohemian. Please know going in to this post I love being an American (and have a pet peeve against those who complain about this country) and will thusly have a wee [long] paragraph about it. 

As for our fourth, we spent the day together as a family doing what we love most: eating popcorn and playing cards.  We decided to head downtown to watch fireworks (you have no idea how many years I have been begging for us to do this!) and packed a picnic dinner to eat while playing cards until 10 o'clock (aka, firework time. and yes, we did play cards for three straight hours. hand and foot is a loooong game). 

^this is a typical family photo when we are out and about. selfies, family style. 

^this is us. crazy, goofy, and wild. i love it, i love it, i love it.  

There are times when I lay in bed, trying to drift off into sleep, and I wonder why I wasn't born a princess. Or a daughter of some Hollywood tv star.  Or in Europe.  And then when I am done playing my teeny tiny little fiddle I remember that I was born in America, with two parents who love me more than I deserve, with my own job, not to mention both my parents' jobs. Oh, and that I was raised knowing our Savior.  How blessed am I? And how blessed are we to live in this great nation where we have so many freedoms? People complain all the time about this and that; about the government, about school, about work.  And where are they complaining? On social media half the time, where, in other countries around the world, they could be jailed or killed for saying such negative things.  We have the freedom to go to college or not to go to college, to decide what we want to do when we grow up, to decide how many kids we want to have, the freedom to marry whomever we choose-if we even want to get married.  I mean seriously, so many of us Americans forget these small freedoms we have.  And all because we live in America, home of the free.  I think a lot of the time we forget how much work and sweat and bravery was put into fighting for these small freedoms.  How many debates did our Founding Fathers have to have in order to agree on the Bill of Rights (let alone to even create it)?  And how many more court cases have people fought to help clarify these laws and rights? Especially the ones with lots of grey area.  All these people have fought to help keep America growing.  To keep expanding her rights.  To keep all of us equal (or so they are still trying to accomplish. but hey, they're working on it, aren't they?! once again, because of our right to question the government).  That's why we celebrate the fourth.  To thank those Founding Fathers and everyone in-between who have fought for this freedom of ours. By golly, can you tell I love living here in this beautiful country (yeah that too, you don't have to leave the country to see mountains, deserts, cities, plains, glaciers, OR prairies. it's all right here)?  

So happy birthday, America.  And much thanks to those brave men in 1776 who decided to take a stand for what they believed in.  Without them, we would all be speaking with British accents and having tea time every afternoon (now that my family probably wouldn't mind...). 

My confession: I am so in love with this country and so incredibly blessed to be an American.  

this one's for momma

I missed Mother's Day while I was in the DR.  And what a shame.  Because my momma sure does deserve to be celebrated--and more than once a year (and no, I'm not being paid for this (: ).  She is one incredible lady.  And if you see her here in the future, make sure you give her a nice big pat on the back.  Because this momma of mine has lost a whopping fifty pounds! Talk about inspiration for your children.  I know that all four of us kids look up to the woman she is and the determination and passion she carries with her every day. 

My momma knows how to love each of us kids the way in which we receive love.  Momma knows I love hugs and kisses, and she is always receptive to my hugs no matter her mood or what she is in the middle of.  Momma may not even support me being a vegetarian (ain't that a whole other story?), but she has continued to make me my own vegetarian dinner each night when she prepares dinner for us.  Is that love or what?  

So speaking of love:

We are coming up on Em's graduation, and my mom is in the full swing of planning out every detail.  Momma, I want to bless and love you by being your right hand in planning this open house.  Without complaining (at least I'll try my very hardest not to.).  Because you do so much for all us, I want to take some pressure off of this party for you.  And I love you and I know this is one way to show that love.  

We love you, momma, and I couldn't imagine giving anyone else that title.  I hope one day to be half the momma you were to me for my little chickies. 

My confession: I love my momma too much for words to describe.  Happy Mother's Day, and here's to serving you these next few weeks!

sadie girl

After a little bit of a health scare with our dog, Sadie, this week, I thought it was appropriate to dedicate a post to her.  She is THE cutest dog out there, so you are in for a treat (no bias, whatsoever)!

We got Sadie when I was in the sixth grade.  It was a COMPLETE surprise.  We hadn't been talking about getting a dog, and in fact, my parents had told us no pets (although we did have a cat, Bella, but that is a story for another time).  I had gotten home from school after a pretty crummy day to this sweet, adorable little puppy.  I thought she was an employee's of my dad's dog (for some reason I thought this guy always had puppies with him) and thought nothing of her.  I played with her for a little while and asked the guy what her name was.  He replied that he didn't know.  I thought that was odd, and then asked my dad.  He said that we would have to wait to see what the rest of the family thought.  It took me a minute to realize what he meant.  WE WERE GETTING A PUPPY! This happy little puppy with paws bigger than her body was ours!  

Side note: This is how Sadie ended up in our family--  Our backdoor neighbor's grandma lives out in the farm area.  Her neighbors are dog breeders and one night a golden retriever momma got out of her kennel and found a black lab, who was apparently a hunk, as Sadie was thus a result of their "friendship."  All the puppies were golden, and thus able to be sold, but little Sadie was black and couldn't be.  So she was given to the neighbor, who gave her to our neighbors, who gave her to us.  All so random and spontaneous and wonderful!

Sadie is such a good dog.  And I'm not just saying that.  Other people will agree.  She doesn't bark (unless an unknown stranger is in our yard at an obscure time.) She has never even tried to bite anyone.  She loves meeting new people.  She is a fantastic snuggler and always seems to know when one of us is having a ruff day (see what I did there?).  She doesn't give out many kisses, which I'm fine with as I find that a little bit gross.  She also inherited all the best qualities of a golden retriever and those of a lab.  Not to mention her hair is long (I am not a fan of short/medium hair dogs. although that does mean more vacuuming for mom...er, us four kids. although we don't' mind, because we love her too much to care).  She is great with kids and just wants to give out some sadie-love.  Such a good puppy.  How we ever got so lucky, I'll never know. 

Not to mention, she's pretty cute (: see below for proof! 

"oh stop, i'm camera shy"

Sadie loves the snow, don't let her face in this picture fool you. trust me. 

My confession: I truly have the cutest, bestest dog in the entire world.  No need for a competition, my Sadie girl would blow all dogs out of the park.